Birthday Party Etiquette or Not

I recently went to a birthday party of friend's child; our children have been the best of friends since they met at the school gate waiting for their older siblings to come out, and have been more or less inseparable ever since. As such I was roped in to transport some of the little darlings to said party venue.

It was all going rather well, one might even say splendidly (if you were so inclined). The children were kitted out and being supervised by a very bright and bubbly young lady with the energy only someone not yet a parent could possibly have, and the adults were drinking tea from a cup, and get this, a saucer! Sadly the cup and saucer was where it ended, no cream tea was forthcoming, but the children were entertained, which is the next best thing.

 An hour of bouncing later and the children were finally being sat down to have their tea, and this is where it all started to go a little pear shaped. You see, not everyone in the class had been invited. I know, scandalous.Who would have thought that it was compulsory to invite the entire class in Key Stage 2? Well, fair to say, I wasn't aware of this party protocol so when parents of 'uninvited' children started having a bit of a, what shall we call it...grumble on social media, it was, to say the least a little surprising.

Some time has now passed and to be fair the kids were probably over it by the following day. Not so the parents. Social media posts are still full of  the 'Birthday Fiasco', but why and is it helpful to the children?

Now, not one to ignore both sides, I can see that, and indeed know from first hand experience just how hurt, as parents we can be for our children when they appear to have been left out from a party or other event. We hurt, because we can see our child hurting and as a parent that is the most horrid thing to behold, but how we then choose to handle, both their emotions and our emotions is key to what our child learns and how they will develop. You see, if we as parents have a tantrum about it, our child will see that and will learn that this is how we deal with social exclusion. But, what if as parents we acknowledge they're upset, but give them another option, maybe there is a film they want to see, or maybe they've been asking to watch that DVD for the 1000th time, maybe another child is also not going to the party and would like to come to tea. This shows them that by doing something else we can move on from it and that party really isn't the most important thing in the World. Remember too, that generally children tend to live right here, right now and they will most likely have forgotten about it by the following day. That's why us, getting over it quickly too is absolutely crucial, because carrying it on will have a negative impact on our children.

So no, I will not be inviting the entire class to my child's birthday celebration. I also do not expect for her to be invited to every other child's party. I want my child to learn that she doesn't have a God given right to attend each and every party or event that happens. I want her to learn to be resilient and independent because in a couple of year's time, she will be at secondary school and believe me, that's a whole other ball game.

Meet our Little Orange Dog

Well, since I have been so cheeky and named our blog after our little dog, it seems only fair that the first post should be about him.

This is Max, he is our gorgeous and very spoilt Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. Being a Cavi, Max is a particularly useless guard dog because he genuinely believes that everyone is his friend. This Cavi trait also makes for some rather interesting dog walks because he thinks that all and sundry will want to make a fuss of him; fine if the passer-by is a dog lover, not fine if they're not so keen, highly embarrassing if Max has just dragged you across the street because he spotted a man - honestly, I have not trained him to do this, he really does like men...a lot. When not dragging me up to random men in the street, Max loves to snuggle up on the sofa for cuddles, or play fetch with his plush burger; we really should have shares in Pet's at Home with the number of these things we get through, but they are his favourite and they're cheap as chips!

Max is the first dog we've had as a family. I grew up in a house that always had a dog in it, but after losing our Black and Tan Cavi, Rupert when I was a teen, could never take to another breed in the same way and to be truthful (close your ears Max) I never really wanted a dog again, at least not until a couple of years ago, much badgering by my youngest daughter and a chance encounter with an escapee dog on our estate.

Now for some reason, if a dog is without collar, and has managed to slip out of its home, chances are it will end up on my doorstep. Cookie, so named by the girls, no idea what his real name is, was the first escapee to end up here. After a lot of walking around the estate, knocking on doors and asking strangers if they knew where he lived, we resorted to bringing him home, putting him in the garden and calling the dog warden, whom may I add, came out very quickly. The girls were in their element and desperately wanted to keep the little fella, but thankfully, particularly for the cat, his owner was located. So happy cat, happy dog, happy dog owner, sad girls, but not for long because my cousin's Blenheim Cavi had just had a litter of three pups. And that is how Max came to be our little orange dog.

Max isn't just our pet, he is part of our family, so there will be lots more posts about him I'm sure.