Minecraft Mum

Yep, you read that right the first time. Yes I know you had to read it twice! Moi? Minecrafting? Mais oui! Don't ask why I just switched to French there, I have no idea either. To be quite honest with you, I have no flipping idea what I'm doing at the moment. This morning has seen me going up and down the stairs like a yo-yo retrieving things I've left downstairs in the kitchen, only to return to the first floor living room to realise I've not retrieved what I went for in the first place. It took me three trips just to retrieve my tea and then my glasses, the latter of which I went to fetch on my first trip! So, should I slip into a petit peu of French bear with, I've clearly lost my mind! Oh and before I forget, on yet another different subject (because yes, I am aware, I have indeed gone off on a tangent, again) I have also gone up and down the stairs, making up and filling a couple more packing boxes, so I have managed to be productive in my confused state.

However, having digressed so far, I feel it's time we got back to the point, for I am now a Minecrafter!

Minecraft - My House and My Dog, Snowy

A (Not So) Tall Story

Ah, the weekend! The time when you spend time with your family, enjoy one another's company and pretend you are not some crazy, dysfunctional group of people at all! To be honest, we stopped doing that last bit some time ago. Getting the kids out with me is enough of a win, I really can't be doing with pretending to be all 'Little House on the Prairie,' too, which is why we probably leave a crazy trail of destruction behind us.

Anyway, Sunday morning saw me manage to get my youngest out of the house. Not going to lie, I was so shocked she agreed, that I wondered if it was national news worthy (anyone with teenagers will know how monumental this is). So off we popped to a small local shopping centre, complete with pharmacy, so that the other half could get his man flu medicine (he really was not a well boy). Whilst the boy was raiding Boots with his snot and sneezes, Miss. L and I had a good old look round The Body Shop. If I had no idea what to get for her upcoming birthday before, I now have more ideas than I really need, there was a whole lot of stuff in there she wanted. Combine that with her obsession with food storage containers in TK Maxx and we're sorted (no I'm not going to buy her Tupperware - even I'm not that crap a mum).

GCSE Results Day

Well it's finally here, the big day. The day that teens across the country have been anxiously awaiting, or dreading, or attempting to ignore at all costs in the vague hope it won't arrive. Whatever, the long wait is over and the results of all those exams is finally over. Up and down the country 16 year olds have miraculously prised themselves out of their much loved beds and are school bound. I'll be honest, this is all a wee bit alien to me, our 'O' Level and CSE results (yes I am that old) were posted to us, there was none of this going to school during the holidays. In hind sight, I would have preferred going to collect them rather than sitting, worrying and looking out for the postman, but that's all in the past. Today it's off to school and it's time for envelopes to be opened, and futures to begin.

Days Out in Kent

It's fair to say that the summer holidays are long and daunting, particularly if you have little ones that need a wee bit more entertaining than my two teenage girls. That said, even teens need to be dragged out of their rooms from time to time for a good dose of vitamin D. I find it's easier to persuade them out if you tell them they can bring a friend. This may sound like an expensive day out, but some years ago I took the plunge and joined English Heritage as a Family Member. It's paid for itself so many times over, because my membership allows me to get a shed load (OK, just a car load) of kids in free. This was particularly helpful, when Miss D wanted to take a friend to Dover Castle for History GCSE revision. We have some fantastic places to visit for days out in Kent, and a lot of the English Heritage sites put on special days for the school holidays.

Me Time

Last Friday, I waved my girls off for a week's holiday with their Dad. It was an interesting affair. Miss. D was a bit stroppy because Dad was early (or something) and she was still trying to soak off her acrylic nails (which she had put on for her prom) and as any of us who have ever had acrylics will know, they are a bugger to get off and require more patience than most sixteen year old girls have. So when she left she was in a rush because, one cannot be seen with some nails on and some nails off, even if you are travelling from one home, by car, to another with no stops along the way. Miss. L wasn't super happy either, but for different reasons. She's not been too well recently and is currently waiting to see CAMHS after her holiday. She'd spent most of the previous week glued to me, which to be honest, has been rather nice, but it meant we had a few tears when she was leaving. After a bit of reassurance from myself and her father, she was off and even managed a little smile when Max waved her off with his paw.

8 Simple Tips for Keeping Your Teen Safe Online

When I was a teen there was no Internet, and no mobile phones. A mobile phone was a little green piece of plastic, the size of a credit card that afforded you a set amount of credit to make calls from a public card phone. It was the thing of it's time! No messing around trying to find change to put in the pay phone and then dropping the next coin just as the pips went off to warn you your credit was running out. Nope, we just went to the special card phone and popped in our bit of plastic. All very high tech.

Because we had no mobile phones, or computers we spoke to one another. You would arrange to meet somewhere at a given time and then you just took for granted it would happen. No texting to say you're on your way, or you got held up. Sharing a photo, meant getting the film from your camera developed at the chemist and then showing the prints to your friends and family by passing them around.

Keeping safe for us, meant, not going near the big kids, not walking down lonely dark alleys, not talking to strangers or taking anything from them, blah, blah, blah.

I'm not saying it was better back then, but perhaps it was simpler. Or at least keeping ourselves safe was simpler. Whereas, we only really had to worry about keeping safe outside of our homes, our children now have access to so much social media that their safety in the home cannot be guaranteed.

This is why as parents, it's vital we keep up to date with the latest e-safety news because it's a fast paced, and ever changing world. There are some things that will remain the same though, and which you should speak to your child about on a regular basis if they are going online, regardless of their age.

1) Keep your accounts private and have your location set to off. Big issues with location on Snapchat, anyone can see where you are. Turn it off.

2) Never add anyone you do not personally know, even if it is a friend of a friend. If you haven't met them in real life they have no place in your online life.

3) Never ever give out your password, not even to your best friend in the whole world. What's the worst that can happen? Someone could go into your account and cause a whole lot of trouble for you.

4) Photos. Be careful what you share. Once you've put it on the World Wide Web it is there forever. Which leads us nicely to...

5) Never ever ever share photos that are inappropriate and never ever be pressured into doing so. If someone asks you to do anything online you are not comfortable with, report them, block them and tell an adult.

6) Do not give out any personal details, phone numbers, address etc. Anything someone could use to locate you off line. Don't share it.

7) Never arrange to meet anyone you met online (refer back to number 2). People can be very deceptive online, very easily. You can never 100% know to whom you're speaking.

8) If you are being bullied online, screen shot the messages, block them and speak to a trusted adult.

This list could well go on an on, but these are the things I go over regularly with my girls. It works. We had an incident a couple of years ago when someone approached my eldest and some of her friends online. Because we talk about it at home, and it's discussed regularly at school they knew what to do. She didn't come to me, but she did go to her pastoral support team at school and they in turn contacted the parents. I dread to think what might have happened if they weren't so clued up on the dangers of the online world. Thankfully, they did.

Further reading for parents:

internet matters.org

NSPCC Online Safety

5 Tips for Raising Your Teenage Girl

If you're a regular reader of Little Orange Dog, you'll know that I am mum to two girls, one teen and one tween. They're pretty amazing young ladies and if you've read my post A Letter to my Girls you'll know just how proud I am of them. Only today, I was immensely proud of Miss. D. Despite having had a migraine since yesterday afternoon, and still feeling very unwell, she got herself up, showered and ready for school. One look at her, and it was obvious she was being very optimistic. If I'd let her go in I guarantee I would have been collecting her by 9am and bringing her home again. It's those little things they do that surprise me and make me burst with pride.

It all sounds very idyllic doesn't it. The three of us sound like the perfect little family don't we? Well for the most part, everyone does get on. Of course the girls fall out from time to time. Yes they get stroppy on the odd occasion, dare I say it, Miss. L can get very moody and morose, but for the most part, it's all good.

So here's what I've learnt about raising Teen Girls.

1) Hormones start to kick in a wee bit before they hit their teens. They start getting all attitudey (I believe I may have created a word there) and it just gets worse. You never know if your sweet little girl is going to be just that, or if she's going to be an angry, fire breathing dragon. And even when you've worked out which version of your daughter is in front of you, the speed at which she can morph into the other version is unbelievable. My advice. Do not rise to the bait. If you take that angry monster on, you are not going to win, you will only end up feeding it and making it angrier. Pick your battles wisely; let them shout, stamp upstairs and slam their bedroom door and when they've calmed down - I repeat when they've calmed down, talk it out.

2) Periods this is number two on the list as it ties in with number one. Your teen will be a raging bag of hormones once a month, guaranteed. Follow the advice above, keep a good supply of chocolate in the house, and if you need to approach her, do so armed with said chocolate and a huge amount of caution. Be ready to beat a hasty retreat!

3) Sleeping is her favourite past time. She will become like a little hibernating creature. The little girl who used to run around the house like a loon, now needs to sleep, sleep and sleep some more. Even when she's not asleep, don't count on seeing her. She will still be in her room, which has now become her sanctuary from which she will only venture out in order to feed.

4) Eating is almost like a pastime. She will eat you out of house and home, then complain there's no food in the house. Know that you are responsible for replenishing food supplies that have been depleted, even though you thought there was still an abundance of said item (this will anger the teen, refer to number one for a quick refresher on how to deal with your angry hormonal teen). Note also, that when the teen tells you there is no food in the house, they mean, there is only healthy food left in the house and that simply won't do.

5) Friends are the cause of all happiness and all dramas. I strongly suggest not trying to keep up with who has fallen out with whom, it changes on an almost daily basis. Going out with friends is almost as important as sleeping. Be prepared to run a taxi service for your teen and her friends. Also be prepared for your teen to 'tell' you what her plans are, rather than asking (I'm going to point you back to number one here, there's potential for this to go very pear shaped). In addition to this, get used to the odd sleepless night (yes I know, you thought those days were behind you), when you have a teenage sleepover there's not a whole lot of sleeping goes on and they have no idea how loudly they are giggling.

So, those are my five key tips for keeping the peace and getting along with your teen. It's a bit tongue in cheek, but joking aside, these are the key areas I try to pay attention to when they're getting a bit stroppy. They're not doing it on purpose, they're just testing the boundaries a bit and trying to deal with their fast changing world. Take a step back, breath and think back to when you were a teenager. The calmer you're able to be, the quicker they will calm down and the more likely they will be to talk to you about their fears and concerns. Growing up is scary.

Other posts related to raising teen girls:

Tea, Teens and Consent