Minecraft Mum

Yep, you read that right the first time. Yes I know you had to read it twice! Moi? Minecrafting? Mais oui! Don't ask why I just switched to French there, I have no idea either. To be quite honest with you, I have no flipping idea what I'm doing at the moment. This morning has seen me going up and down the stairs like a yo-yo retrieving things I've left downstairs in the kitchen, only to return to the first floor living room to realise I've not retrieved what I went for in the first place. It took me three trips just to retrieve my tea and then my glasses, the latter of which I went to fetch on my first trip! So, should I slip into a petit peu of French bear with, I've clearly lost my mind! Oh and before I forget, on yet another different subject (because yes, I am aware, I have indeed gone off on a tangent, again) I have also gone up and down the stairs, making up and filling a couple more packing boxes, so I have managed to be productive in my confused state.

However, having digressed so far, I feel it's time we got back to the point, for I am now a Minecrafter!

Minecraft - My House and My Dog, Snowy

A (Not So) Tall Story

Ah, the weekend! The time when you spend time with your family, enjoy one another's company and pretend you are not some crazy, dysfunctional group of people at all! To be honest, we stopped doing that last bit some time ago. Getting the kids out with me is enough of a win, I really can't be doing with pretending to be all 'Little House on the Prairie,' too, which is why we probably leave a crazy trail of destruction behind us.

Anyway, Sunday morning saw me manage to get my youngest out of the house. Not going to lie, I was so shocked she agreed, that I wondered if it was national news worthy (anyone with teenagers will know how monumental this is). So off we popped to a small local shopping centre, complete with pharmacy, so that the other half could get his man flu medicine (he really was not a well boy). Whilst the boy was raiding Boots with his snot and sneezes, Miss. L and I had a good old look round The Body Shop. If I had no idea what to get for her upcoming birthday before, I now have more ideas than I really need, there was a whole lot of stuff in there she wanted. Combine that with her obsession with food storage containers in TK Maxx and we're sorted (no I'm not going to buy her Tupperware - even I'm not that crap a mum).

The Dog Ate my Homework

Hands up if you have ever, actually used that classic excuse, 'Sorry Miss, the dog ate my homework.' I don't think I did, but it would have been pretty plausible given our Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Rupert, was an absolute little bugger for eating anything and everything he shouldn't. My mum still has pens with Rupert teeth marks (though quite why, I do not know; who keeps pens that long, and I'm talking 30+ years here). Not that I was particularly great at doing my homework, unless it was art or flute practise. Quite how I have managed to raise at least one daughter who is always studying and doing homework, I am not sure, but thank goodness I have; there really is nothing worse than getting to Sunday and having to do everything in a panic!

The Mess

Let me make it very clear from the offset, I am not a super house proud, everything in it's place, kind of a girl. As a general rule, my house is quite tidy, but not in a 'no one' lives here 'show home' kind of  way. Good grief, I have two teenage daughters, an orange dog and a black and white cat, who insists on fluffing all over my cream carpets, seconds after I have vacuumed them (I love the cat, but I do not love bits of the cat randomly scattered on freshly vacuumed carpet). I don't like mess! I love a cupboard and drawers. They're great for stashing crap in and giving the illusion that you are a super organised woman who has it all together; just don't open my cupboards or drawers! Please!

That said, I am certainly not, what one might call a hoarder. I go through said cupboards and drawers at least once a year, sometimes twice, and get rid of anything that is redundant. There really is only so much one can fit into a home before it bursts at the seams. And might I add, my loft is empty and my garage is pretty much empty, apart form a handful of things which are earmarked for the tip, once the fiance is free to come down with his trailer. To clarify, I don't like mess and at the moment, that is exactly what my home is, a mess!

GCSE Results Day

Well it's finally here, the big day. The day that teens across the country have been anxiously awaiting, or dreading, or attempting to ignore at all costs in the vague hope it won't arrive. Whatever, the long wait is over and the results of all those exams is finally over. Up and down the country 16 year olds have miraculously prised themselves out of their much loved beds and are school bound. I'll be honest, this is all a wee bit alien to me, our 'O' Level and CSE results (yes I am that old) were posted to us, there was none of this going to school during the holidays. In hind sight, I would have preferred going to collect them rather than sitting, worrying and looking out for the postman, but that's all in the past. Today it's off to school and it's time for envelopes to be opened, and futures to begin.

Left-Handers Day 2019

Are you left-handed or do you know a left-hander? Well today is Left-Handers day and since we have a left-hander in the family, namely Miss D, it seems only right that we at least acknowledge it and maybe even treat her to something to make her life just a wee bit easier.

That said, she was a very lucky girl when she started school in reception class. She had two teachers, one of whom was left handed, and a left handed teaching assistant. This helped her tremendously. I know some left handed children can really struggle in school because the way in which they form their letters is different, not to mention nothing is set up for them, but having teaching staff who understood, meant we avoided that and I have never, ever seen a single smudge in any of her school books throughout her entire school career! Scissors are still an issue though and I really should invest in a pair just for her.

Forget Me Not

OK, the title may be a little misleading, so if you're expecting to read a piece on horticulture and the delicate, but beautiful, little blue flower, Forget Me Not, or to use it's Latin name (I've done my homework here) myosotis sylvatica, you will likely be somewhat disappointed. However, I do aim to please, so let me share with you some fun facts which I have gleaned from my flora and fauna research (the rest of you, bear with me here and/ or prepared to be blown away by my channelling of my inner Charlie Dimmock - minus the bust, she has far more 'bustage' going on than myself).

Now, back to the humble Forget Me Not. Not only is it pretty, but my reading has shown that it flowers in spring, will pretty much grow anywhere, in any kind of soil and it doesn't care if it's in full or partial sun, and the best part, it doesn't need pruning! I'm thinking this could be a plant for me, because I am not known for my gardening expertise, so the easier and less fussy the plant the better! And, it's the state flower of Alaska,  I bet you didn't know that; unless you're Alaskan, or know all your US state flowers, or you're just one of those really clever people.

Days Out in Kent

It's fair to say that the summer holidays are long and daunting, particularly if you have little ones that need a wee bit more entertaining than my two teenage girls. That said, even teens need to be dragged out of their rooms from time to time for a good dose of vitamin D. I find it's easier to persuade them out if you tell them they can bring a friend. This may sound like an expensive day out, but some years ago I took the plunge and joined English Heritage as a Family Member. It's paid for itself so many times over, because my membership allows me to get a shed load (OK, just a car load) of kids in free. This was particularly helpful, when Miss D wanted to take a friend to Dover Castle for History GCSE revision. We have some fantastic places to visit for days out in Kent, and a lot of the English Heritage sites put on special days for the school holidays.

Me Time

Last Friday, I waved my girls off for a week's holiday with their Dad. It was an interesting affair. Miss. D was a bit stroppy because Dad was early (or something) and she was still trying to soak off her acrylic nails (which she had put on for her prom) and as any of us who have ever had acrylics will know, they are a bugger to get off and require more patience than most sixteen year old girls have. So when she left she was in a rush because, one cannot be seen with some nails on and some nails off, even if you are travelling from one home, by car, to another with no stops along the way. Miss. L wasn't super happy either, but for different reasons. She's not been too well recently and is currently waiting to see CAMHS after her holiday. She'd spent most of the previous week glued to me, which to be honest, has been rather nice, but it meant we had a few tears when she was leaving. After a bit of reassurance from myself and her father, she was off and even managed a little smile when Max waved her off with his paw.

A Day in Dover

It's no surprise to those of you who know me, but one of my favourite places to spend a day out, is Dover Castle. I absolutely love it, and the only thing that can possibly make it better is a warm, sunny day, with views across the channel to France. Yes, you really can see France! One day, I shall take my passport with me and hop on the next ferry to the land of fresh baguettes, mouth wateringly, gorgeous cheese, and vats of lush wine...but I digress, a sunny, clear day at Dover Castle is hard to beat.

Dover Castle, Kent

Into Battle Once More

You may recall, I was a tad annoyed the other week when I received a written copy of my Mental Health assessment. It 's fair to say, it was absolutely appalling and I was left absolutely fuming and with little faith left in those who are supposed to care and help. If you missed that post, you can catch up with it here. I've not put that complaint in yet, but I am going to the hospital next week so will hand it in when I do.

However, today I find myself once again, channelling my inner Katniss Everdeen and entering the arena. The difference this time is I am also wearing my mumma bear hat, so I suggest anyone getting in my way, jolly well move themselves pretty darned quickly. This girl is well and truly on the warpath.

8 Simple Tips for Keeping Your Teen Safe Online

When I was a teen there was no Internet, and no mobile phones. A mobile phone was a little green piece of plastic, the size of a credit card that afforded you a set amount of credit to make calls from a public card phone. It was the thing of it's time! No messing around trying to find change to put in the pay phone and then dropping the next coin just as the pips went off to warn you your credit was running out. Nope, we just went to the special card phone and popped in our bit of plastic. All very high tech.

Because we had no mobile phones, or computers we spoke to one another. You would arrange to meet somewhere at a given time and then you just took for granted it would happen. No texting to say you're on your way, or you got held up. Sharing a photo, meant getting the film from your camera developed at the chemist and then showing the prints to your friends and family by passing them around.

Keeping safe for us, meant, not going near the big kids, not walking down lonely dark alleys, not talking to strangers or taking anything from them, blah, blah, blah.

I'm not saying it was better back then, but perhaps it was simpler. Or at least keeping ourselves safe was simpler. Whereas, we only really had to worry about keeping safe outside of our homes, our children now have access to so much social media that their safety in the home cannot be guaranteed.

This is why as parents, it's vital we keep up to date with the latest e-safety news because it's a fast paced, and ever changing world. There are some things that will remain the same though, and which you should speak to your child about on a regular basis if they are going online, regardless of their age.

1) Keep your accounts private and have your location set to off. Big issues with location on Snapchat, anyone can see where you are. Turn it off.

2) Never add anyone you do not personally know, even if it is a friend of a friend. If you haven't met them in real life they have no place in your online life.

3) Never ever give out your password, not even to your best friend in the whole world. What's the worst that can happen? Someone could go into your account and cause a whole lot of trouble for you.

4) Photos. Be careful what you share. Once you've put it on the World Wide Web it is there forever. Which leads us nicely to...

5) Never ever ever share photos that are inappropriate and never ever be pressured into doing so. If someone asks you to do anything online you are not comfortable with, report them, block them and tell an adult.

6) Do not give out any personal details, phone numbers, address etc. Anything someone could use to locate you off line. Don't share it.

7) Never arrange to meet anyone you met online (refer back to number 2). People can be very deceptive online, very easily. You can never 100% know to whom you're speaking.

8) If you are being bullied online, screen shot the messages, block them and speak to a trusted adult.

This list could well go on an on, but these are the things I go over regularly with my girls. It works. We had an incident a couple of years ago when someone approached my eldest and some of her friends online. Because we talk about it at home, and it's discussed regularly at school they knew what to do. She didn't come to me, but she did go to her pastoral support team at school and they in turn contacted the parents. I dread to think what might have happened if they weren't so clued up on the dangers of the online world. Thankfully, they did.

Further reading for parents:

internet matters.org

NSPCC Online Safety

5 Tips for Raising Your Teenage Girl

If you're a regular reader of Little Orange Dog, you'll know that I am mum to two girls, one teen and one tween. They're pretty amazing young ladies and if you've read my post A Letter to my Girls you'll know just how proud I am of them. Only today, I was immensely proud of Miss. D. Despite having had a migraine since yesterday afternoon, and still feeling very unwell, she got herself up, showered and ready for school. One look at her, and it was obvious she was being very optimistic. If I'd let her go in I guarantee I would have been collecting her by 9am and bringing her home again. It's those little things they do that surprise me and make me burst with pride.

It all sounds very idyllic doesn't it. The three of us sound like the perfect little family don't we? Well for the most part, everyone does get on. Of course the girls fall out from time to time. Yes they get stroppy on the odd occasion, dare I say it, Miss. L can get very moody and morose, but for the most part, it's all good.

So here's what I've learnt about raising Teen Girls.

1) Hormones start to kick in a wee bit before they hit their teens. They start getting all attitudey (I believe I may have created a word there) and it just gets worse. You never know if your sweet little girl is going to be just that, or if she's going to be an angry, fire breathing dragon. And even when you've worked out which version of your daughter is in front of you, the speed at which she can morph into the other version is unbelievable. My advice. Do not rise to the bait. If you take that angry monster on, you are not going to win, you will only end up feeding it and making it angrier. Pick your battles wisely; let them shout, stamp upstairs and slam their bedroom door and when they've calmed down - I repeat when they've calmed down, talk it out.

2) Periods this is number two on the list as it ties in with number one. Your teen will be a raging bag of hormones once a month, guaranteed. Follow the advice above, keep a good supply of chocolate in the house, and if you need to approach her, do so armed with said chocolate and a huge amount of caution. Be ready to beat a hasty retreat!

3) Sleeping is her favourite past time. She will become like a little hibernating creature. The little girl who used to run around the house like a loon, now needs to sleep, sleep and sleep some more. Even when she's not asleep, don't count on seeing her. She will still be in her room, which has now become her sanctuary from which she will only venture out in order to feed.

4) Eating is almost like a pastime. She will eat you out of house and home, then complain there's no food in the house. Know that you are responsible for replenishing food supplies that have been depleted, even though you thought there was still an abundance of said item (this will anger the teen, refer to number one for a quick refresher on how to deal with your angry hormonal teen). Note also, that when the teen tells you there is no food in the house, they mean, there is only healthy food left in the house and that simply won't do.

5) Friends are the cause of all happiness and all dramas. I strongly suggest not trying to keep up with who has fallen out with whom, it changes on an almost daily basis. Going out with friends is almost as important as sleeping. Be prepared to run a taxi service for your teen and her friends. Also be prepared for your teen to 'tell' you what her plans are, rather than asking (I'm going to point you back to number one here, there's potential for this to go very pear shaped). In addition to this, get used to the odd sleepless night (yes I know, you thought those days were behind you), when you have a teenage sleepover there's not a whole lot of sleeping goes on and they have no idea how loudly they are giggling.

So, those are my five key tips for keeping the peace and getting along with your teen. It's a bit tongue in cheek, but joking aside, these are the key areas I try to pay attention to when they're getting a bit stroppy. They're not doing it on purpose, they're just testing the boundaries a bit and trying to deal with their fast changing world. Take a step back, breath and think back to when you were a teenager. The calmer you're able to be, the quicker they will calm down and the more likely they will be to talk to you about their fears and concerns. Growing up is scary.

Other posts related to raising teen girls:

Tea, Teens and Consent

What Happening?

Hmmm, I is spending a huge amount of time curled up on the sofa at the moment and I not sure why. Usually, my mummy take me out lots. Sometimes, her take me out too much and I really not want to go. Me has done moaning before when her take me out one too many times. Little Orange me walked very slowly and made quite clear me not a happy little boy.

I not know what happened. Me think that the mummy is not the real mummy. I not know who this mummy is, but something just not right at all. Her look like my mummy and her smell like my mummy. I done lots of sniffing of her because me not convinced this is my mummy, but her must be because she smell like mummy. Her not mummy though.

Her still feed me and give me water. Sometimes, her still brush me. Miss. L brushes me most of the time, she seems to enjoy it...I don't, I like to look like a scruffy boy. Mummy not take me for a walk for long time though. Her did take me, but when we got back she made funny noise and her eyes leaked.

Sometimes her play fetch with me, but not very often. She smell like my mummy, but I so sad because mummy isn't the same mummy and me miss her lots.

This mummy, not go out. Her stay indoors and do the funny noise, leaky eye thing lots and lots. Me sit on her feet and try to be the bestest boy in the whole widest world. Mummy loves it when me keep her feet warm so her eyes shouldn't leak, but me doing something wrong because they do still do leaking. Me fidget about in case me not keeping all her feets warm, but it not stop. Her smell like mummy, but it can't be.

Miss. L takes me for my walks. We have fun together. Me love both my girls so much, but me wish mummy would take me out too. My girls are the bestest. Them tell me mummy love me, but her not feel well at the moment. Maybe that why other mummy here. Me think real mummy is on a holiday somewhere getting mended. Me hope so.

A Letter To My Girls

To My Wonderful Daughters,

You are both amazing, beautiful, intelligent and funny. I am so very, very proud of you. Every time I think I've worked you out, you do something else that surprises me; usually in a good way.

You are both growing up now, you no longer need me as much as you used to. You go out with your own friends and do things you want to do. You are discovering who you are and where you belong in this World. You're working hard at school and achieving so much more than I ever did, you clever things. Who would have thought I could produce two girls who are such good mathematicians! I struggled so much in that subject, but you both seem to find it easy. Did I mention, how very proud I am of you both.

You are kind girls. You think of others and you're not afraid to stand up for people you see being bullied. You're not afraid to stand up for what you believe in. Don't lose that. It will stand you in good stead. You will do good things that will help change lives with your kindness, compassion and dislike for injustice, but be prepared, it will also land you in hot water from time to time. Don't worry. If it is something you truly believe in and believe it is worth fighting for keep going. People will always get upset if you show them something isn't right. I will be proud of you.

Follow your heart and dream big. You can do whatever you want to do. Only you stand in your way. Never walk on anyone to get where you want to go though, and never be walked on (I know you won't, you're too strong and stubborn for that). Be kind always, and work hard. The people who take short cuts to get what they want, are the ones who won't appreciate what they have, and won't work to keep it. Never give up. I will be proud of you.

I cannot tell you how in awe of you I am. I know that life at home is not easy for either of you at the moment. When I was your ages, I could not have coped with all you are dealing with now. I have always been very open with you about my illness. You know that I live with depression, and you have seen me suffer with it over the years. This time, I know that I am much worse than I have ever been. I try not to cry in front of you, but I have failed so much, and you have seen me sobbing my heart out uncontrollably. I apologise, and you both tell me it's OK, you know it's not my fault, you know I am not well. It fills me with pride and it hurts me too that you have to be so strong and understanding. I am so proud of you.

Miss. L, thank you for the endless cups of tea you provide. Thank you for walking our Little Orange Doggy because I cannot (I secretly think he prefers walks with you). Thank you for helping me to collect the shopping, cook dinners and with jobs around the house. You are awesome!

Miss. D thank you for being a fabulous big sister, I know you are always looking out for your little sister, especially at the moment. Thank you for understanding how difficult anxiety makes it for me to go out and do 'normal' things. Thank you for speaking to your teacher about your concerns over parents evening. You are such a thoughtful awesome girl!

I know that I am not myself. I know that your normal happy, laid back, crazy, fun mum isn't around. I know I am just an empty shell of myself at the moment, and I cannot begin to understand how difficult it must be for you both. Please know, I am trying so hard. Every day I try, because I love you both so much. I know that you worry about me and I know that it is affecting you so much more than you will ever let on to me. Talk to your Dad, talk to your teachers and your friends. Please, do not keep how you feel locked inside.

Talk to each other. Remember that whatever life brings, you will always have your sister. You may not always like each other, but I know that you love one another very much, even when you won't admit it to me or your sister.

You are amazing girls. I love you so much and I am so very proud of you.

With all my love,

Mum xxx