Wednesday 20 September 2017

Seize the Moments

A couple of evenings ago, D and I chatted about change and particularly how I have changed over the past (almost) six months.

It stemmed from a bit of an outburst from Miss. D (with a little support from Miss. L) when we suggested climbing Snowdon next Summer. Anyone would have thought we'd suggested we pack a few sandwiches, some sunscreen and a warm coat and take a hike up Everest! It was all very hormonal and ended with her taking herself up to bed (to be fair, she isn't very well at the moment).

Anyway, we sat down with our hot drinks, as you do, and D said he could see why the girls might be upset or find it odd. Long story short, until the last six months, I have always, always put the girls first and done what the girls wanted to do. I have rarely strayed from the normal 'mum' routine. Now D is in our lives, and although they love him, he does do crazy stuff and he encourages me to join in, hence the whitewater rafting. Even though I have always wanted to do whitewater rafting, there is no way I would have had the confidence to do it with anyone other than D. Please understand, that D in no way makes me do any crazy stuff, but he does provide the enthusiasm, encouragement and opportunities, and for that I am very grateful.

I really, really want to try a zip wire; something I have suggested to the girls, but something they're not so keen on, a bit like walking up Snowdon. I'm really keen to do more, lots more. When I was younger (I would say 'when I was little', but I know I'll get a heap of comments about still being little) I was always out on my bike, I danced, played the flute and used to go rock climbing and walking. As I am getting older, I want to do more stuff, particularly outdoorsy stuff.

How much fun does this look?
The girls don't know the younger me though. They think, I've met D and it's all his fault, which I suppose, in part is pretty spot on, but if I didn't want to do it, I jolly well wouldn't. I mean, there are limits, there is no way on this earth I am ever doing a bungee jump, or a skydive, for anyone! But, I really do want to do the zip wire. I want to start climbing again and cycling. I want to paddle board and kayak and learn to salsa (ok that's not too daring, but it's still on my wish list). Oh, and I want to learn to ride a horse, but without all the horrible smelly mucking out.

So why all of a sudden do I want to do this stuff? Well let me short (and I am not referring to my height, you cheeky lot), I am not getting any younger. In a little over three years, I will be celebrating my 50th Birthday. Whilst I may look considerably younger than my years, it's fair to say that I still suffer a few aches and pains from time to time. In other words, my body is reminding me it is not what it used to be. With that in mind, I am embracing a now or never attitude and fully intend to grow old as disgracefully and crazily as I possibly can. It's possible that I may have many active years ahead of me, but by the same token, I may not. And whilst it sounds morbid, the reality is that once you hit your mid to late forties, your mortality becomes more real. Already, we have lost a couple of girls from our school days. We just do not know what life holds, so for me, cramming as much in now, whilst I am able, stepping out of my comfort zone and having adventures and experiences, is a priority. I want to be able to share some real adventure stories with my grandchildren!

Of course it's a shock to the girls, but I think they'll get used to it and I really hope that it will encourage them to get out and about doing more active things, things we can all do together as a blended family. Who knows, they might even discover they prefer being out in the fresh air to being attached to a screen.

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