I'm not sure if I should be writing this post or not. If I'm completely honest, I don't actually know how this post is going to turn out. I've no idea what I want to say, or how I want to say it, but my head needs clearing out and the way I do that is to write. Writing is, for me, a creative outlet, but also a therapeutic tool; so I suppose it stands to reason that I would feel the need to write at this time.
As a general rule, my posts are always very clear in my head. I know what it is I want to say and I have a very good idea of the shape it will take. So right now, I feel like a fish out of water and I'm just trusting my fingers to hit the right keys and produce something that is vaguely readable and well, hopefully won't be a load of mumbo jumbo.
The last seven days have been crazy. We've had a birthday, complete with not one, but two sleepovers, plus a shopping trip, a shed load of visitors and enough emotions to sink a ship. Except it wasn't a ship which sunk, it was the little boat that was mine and Dr. BD's relationship.
I'm not sharing with you, why our little rowing boat sunk, but I will say, I have no bad words to say about us, or him. I am genuinely saddened and if our circumstances were different perhaps we could have bailed that water out. Perhaps we would have noticed when first our boat sprung a leak, and dealt with it there and then, but hindsight is a wonderful thing and life tends to get in the way. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. Who knows?
I know that for me it was the right decision, a really tough one and one I wasn't quite ready to make, but still the right one. I hope that it is for him too because he is fabulous, kind and thoughtful.
I suppose what I really want to say, is thank you. Thank you for bringing me so much laughter over the last couple of years. Thank you for putting up with this crazy, free spirited nutcase. Thank you for being a chapter in my life story.