Friday 26 May 2017

Summer Sunshine - The Downside

Yes I know, it's not actually summer yet and nor will it be for another month, but someone forgot to send the memo to Mother Nature and frankly, that is just fine with me.

And yet, there is a problem with the sun raising it's beautiful head and shining upon us. No, it's not the heat, nor the risk of sunburn; you just slather on the sunscreen and hide in the shade. Nor is it the pesky bugs that like to take a nibble out of you. No it is far, far worse than that, at least it is for many of us ladies.

The biggest problem, for the female of the species, is the curse of the shirtless man. Hands up boys, I am guessing that most of you are guilty of this one. Yes, we know that it's boiling hot, unbearably so on occasion. We appreciate that you need to cool yourselves down, but please, please keep your top on...please.

You see, this chap has his top on, he looks, as your grandmother might say, presentable, or as I might say, rather lovely, stood there in the shade, with his top on! He's probably sweating like a pig, he's probably got the type of body that most of us ladies don't mind seeing shirtless, but nope, he is toughing it out (and likely drinking plenty of water, he looks very health conscious). The problem is the type of man whom tends to go shirtless thinks he looks like this...

...not too shabby and very easy on the eye (and those are some rather lovely tattoos, if you don't mind me saying). However, as a general rule of thumb, these are not the boys who strip off in the heat of a summer's day and those whom do...well look it's easier to show you. Rather than seeing the likes of the chap above, what us girls are bombarded with on a hot day looks more like this...

I'm sorry to burst your bubble gents, but it's not pretty and it cannot be unseen. It's actually rather disturbing, and more so if we're unfortunate enough to catch you bending over and bearing your builders cleavage at us (that is just nasty). And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, it does. Because whilst the boys expect us to shave or wax to within an inch of our lives, how many men bother to wax their backs? If us ladies neglected our legs and armpits, then wore hotpants and cropped vests I can almost guarantee we'd get some pretty nasty insults, and yet for some unfathomable reason, a hairy back and beer belly are quite alright to expose to an unsuspecting world.

Worse still, are the signs outside shops asking people to wear tops when they do their weekly grocery shop. Really? When did it become necessary to have to tell people to dress appropriately in public, or rather why is it necessary? I'm relieved they do, I mean who wants to be buying sausages when you've got a half naked, pale bloke who looks 7 months pregnant stood next to you. That's enough to put you off your BBQ for the entire summer and possibly the next ten summers after that. Please note, I did find a photo of a beer belly, but it was too disturbing to include.

Please ladies, please tell me I am not alone here. Please tell me I am not the only one traumatised by the sight of a beer belly wobbling down the High Street.

Before I end, I must redress the balance, because believe me, us girls are not totally innocent when it comes to inappropriate attire on a hot summer's day, but that's a whole other post. Might I also add, that after a good couple of hours or so of drumming, I am more than happy to see D strip his shirt off in a pub and put a t-shirt on, just saying 😉


  1. hahaha! This made me laugh out loud. I thought to myself in the school yard this afternoon that some people should not go topless. Last year the head teacher sent a letter out about how you should be respectably clothed even if the weather is warm....It was very tactful but basically said put your hairy chests away. hehehe
    Aha! You are right women are not innocent....Bikinis are not a good look for the school yard. Yes! I have seen that in the past. lol x

    1. Bikinis? Oh my goodness, I've seen onesies and even tiny shorts and vest top pj's, but never a bikini. Perhaps I should pass the baton on to you and let you write the sequel post ;-)xx