Sunday 4 September 2016

First Day at School - The Alternative Tips

So this week sees lots of our beautiful little darlings starting school for the first time. For lots of mummies this a stressful and upsetting time. They'll be lots of tears and a real risk of seeing panic buying of tissues from supermarkets, pharmacies and corner shops! For these mummies, there are a host of useful tips available on the Internet.

However, what if you're not one of the emotional mummies? What do you do? Well especially for you, here is my alternative, and somewhat tongue in cheek, list of things to do on your little ones first ever day at school.

  1. Keep your excitement in check at the breakfast table. You don't want your little cherub thinking that you can't wait to get rid of them for a few hours. If you really have to do the Happy Mummy Dance find somewhere out of cherub's view!
  2. Do arrive at school nice and early, parking spaces are limited and can cause all sorts of drama. Getting there early will not only secure you a parking space, but if you choose your space wisely, will give you a fabulous vantage point of the unfolding mayhem that will almost certainly occur with the latecomers. 
  3. (Or perhaps 2b) Do not under any circumstance get caught sniggering at the car park fiascos! Apparently, it's not socially acceptable, but very amusing all the same.
  4. Do go loaded with tissues. You will be everyones new best friend.
  5. Once you have deposited your little darling with a quick hug and 'have fun' (ignoring any tears or tantrums) do not, I repeat, do not get the bunting out and start waving flags or blowing whistles in celebration of your new found freedom. Again, it is not deemed socially acceptable. Instead, retreat to the safety of your car to do the Happy Mummy Dance. Try not to be seen, you may get funny looks and find people giving you a wide berth, or calling the men in white coats.
  6. Do find another like minded mummy; you won't be the only one celebrating, and exit stage left (or right) as swiftly and preferably as covertly as possible. Retreat to the relative safety of the car park and do a joint Happy Mummy Dance.
  7. Go home, put the kettle on and enjoy the peace and quiet. You're going to need a rest ready to run the gauntlet otherwise known as, the afternoon school run (return to point 2).

So to all of you with little ones starting school this week, good luck, have fun and whether you're a happy mummy looking forward to it, or an emotional mummy dreading it, enjoy your babies and all the exciting things they will make you at school; the drawings and scribbles the junk models and glitter cards and do a little Happy Mummy Dance :-)

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