Wednesday 2 November 2016

An Awkward Moment

We've all had them, those awkward moments where you're not sure what to say, what to do or in this particular instance of which I write, where on earth to look!

Yes that was me, trying to not see what I was seeing, only I wasn't nearly so successful as this wee lad.

Anyway, it all started with an innocent trip to the supermarket to buy an alternative dinner. I had intended to use up the contents of the freezer this week, and last night the pizza was on the menu. However, given how flipping cold, wet and miserable it was, I had a sudden craving (not that type of craving, there will be no more little people in this house, thank you kindly) for bangers and mash. There were no sausages in the freezer, hence the supermarket trip.

It was a nice straight forward shop. Being as we had gone straight from the afternoon school run, it wasn't too busy, which is always a bonus because I really do not enjoy supermarkets full of people with trolleys. It really is my worst nightmare.

A typical supermarket as seen through my eyes...nightmare!

Miss. L is not a huge fan of sausages, unless Toad in The Hole is on the menu, in which case she loves them. Take the sausage out of the batter and serve it as Bangers and Mash and they're not so good. I know, I don't really understand it either, but that's kids for you. With her sausage fussiness an issue, I thought it best to allow her to pick out the ones she wanted. No fancy ones then, just plain pork sausages, but that's okay.

We pottered around and got a few more bits we needed, namely toilet roll; what do kids do with that stuff, eat it? It's the only solution I can think of that would explain the vast quantity of toilet roll that they consume. Anyway, we and made our way to the check out; one of the old fashioned ones, with a person at the till because I really do prefer them. The new self serve tills are just a constant source of frustration and invariably some poor member of staff is running around like a headless chicken resetting everything when 'self serve lady' has decided that there is yet another unidentified item in the bagging area. Rant over, we packed, paid and headed off to find the car and get home for a nice warming cuppa.  

Now, I don't think Miss. L and I walk particularly quickly, but we don't dawdle either and soon we were stuck behind a couple of ladies with a trolley, slowly ambling back to their car. With no way around them we adjusted our pace and ambled behind them. And this is where it got awkward, because they were literally right in front of us, in their black leggings and their nice cosy jumpers (how I would have loved a nice cosy jumper, it was so cold), one of which was, well rather short (not covering the rather ample bottom of its wearer) and as we all know (well apart from this poor unfortunate lady), black leggings are absolutely not opaque.

Oh dear, I am now doing my best to look anyway but this, well um, butt (for want of a better word) because I really do not want to see the wobbly bits (I have enough of those myself, thank you) nor do I want to see that her undies which are gradually being swallowed up. I'm trying to look over them, but that's a no go given they are regular height and I am an Oompah Loompah, so I try looking around them, that is also not working as there's two of them on a narrow path, so I settle for the pavement. Which is much better, but I also have to look up to see where the car is and the bottom is still there!

It was very traumatic, more so because I wasn't sure if I should tell her. If she'd had her skirt tucked into her tights, it would have been much easier to say something, but I'm not sure a stranger telling you your knickers are on full display to the world is going to go down well in the supermarket car park. Needless to say I was relieved for a 'brief' moment (pun intended) when I finally spotted our car, only to realise they were parked by us :-(

Leggings are fabulously versatile, I don't dislike them at all, but ladies, please, please save the rest of us from that awkward and rather uncomfortable experience of viewing you undies in public. Keep them for the gym or wear something that covers your bottom like, I don't know, maybe a dress, or a tunic or just a nice long jumper. I can't be the only person to have experienced this dreadfully traumatic experience. 

If you too have suffered, please do get in touch, maybe we can set up a support group.

Run Jump Scrap!

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