I do hope you don't mind me calling you Terri, but it just seems so much more friendly, don't you think?
Anyway, you are probably wondering why I am writing to you; actually, you probably are not, because let's face it, you're hardly likely to be reading my blog, you have far more important things to do. One of which would be having play dates with your new bff.
Now, Terri, I hate to be the one to break the news to you, but your new bff? NOT good! You see, not all that is orange is good. Here is a list of good orange things (and super lovely redheads), it should help you.
- Little Orange Dogs
- Orange citrus fruit
- Pumpkins and Butternut Squash
- Red Squirrels
- Robinson's Orange Squash
- Nicole Kidman
- Prince Harry
- Ed Sheeran
- The orange Smartie (it really is the best one in the tube)
These are good orange things and good auburns (I confess to feeling rather put out that I did not inherit the auburn gene as my aunt and cousin did, but there you go, we can't have all we want).
Your BFF may be orange, but he is not good. Terri, just look at his one week track record, would you. He's not doing well on the human rights front is he? Perhaps you are a little confused, waterboarding is not like surfing. I won't explain it to you other than to say it's a form of torture, which is not kind. Not letting in refugees fleeing war torn countries, also not kind.
The wall thing is interesting too. If you get the Lego out on one of your play dates, beware, I hear he has a habit of wanting to build walls and then expecting other people to pay for them. Keep your pocket money well hidden and beat a very swift retreat at the first sign of a wall. Do try not to step on the Lego as you make your escape though, it is flipping painful!
He's done and said lots of other horrid things too and I am very concerned that he is not a good friend. Terri, sweetie, please find a new friend, one who is kind and cares about all people, one who is not the school bully. Alternatively, take a leaf out of one of your predecessor's books, do a Maggie and put him firmly in his place.
Lots of love and hugs,
Little Orange Dog